slowly giving up

We can find a way out in the darkness


Sometimes you make it really hard for me to love you. Ever since I found out about her, you've been slowly drifting away and avoiding me, yet you still tell me those sweet lies. Yet as each day goes by, I hear another rumour, another girl wanting to talk to me about something you've done, something you've said to them. Is it ever going to stop? Am I ever going to be enough for you? Or am I destined to spend the rest of my life wondering around, forgiving everything you do to me, until I die, or stop loving you- whatever comes first. :/

I thought that everything this year, between us, was a good sign but now i feel like i'm just living a slow and painful death, waiting for the final curtain to come and finish it all off. and atm, i'm waiting patiently, in fact im prepared for it. i dont know how much longer i can hold on for. fgs, its almost christmas, and because of you and all the shit that surrounds you i want it to be over. 


i keep saying to myself, i will give him until new year, to prove that this is what you want, or i'm going to cut all ties with you. i know i cant, but i dont know if i can even wait that long to even try.